Radvent Day 4: Forgiveness

It’s hard to come out of a place of resentment, and it takes practice (just like everything). Practice forgiving about small, everyday things. You can always non-forgive later. Who and what are you ready to let go of resentment toward?

This is something that is really hard for me to do. I say I forgive people, but inside, I don't always feel it. Especially when I'm having a bad day, it's so much harder to forgive people and it's not easy for me to just give up that resentment, when I'm already feeling grumpy and upset.

Honestly, I really feel like I need to forgive myself for not doing as well in school as I wanted to last year. It was a very stressful time, and I had a bit of a mental breakdown during the Winter semester, and my grades suffered greatly because of that. However, while it was mostly my fault, I did the best I could with a crappy situation. I made it through without doing anything drastic to myself and I didn't completely give up on school and run home like I desperately wanted to do. I'm amazed at the strength that I had during that time.

That sounds really egotistical and like I'm trying to make myself look better, but honestly there were many days when I just wanted to give up on everything, sometimes even life in general, but I didn't.

Anyways, this is more about forgiveness of other people I guess. So um, I will try to let go of the resentment that I have towards the people that keep parking in my spot at home. I know it's silly, but after a long day, I just want to come home and park in my own parking spot instead of on the other side of the dead car in the driveway. It feels like almost every time I've come home in the past few days, there has been another car parked in my spot, and that pisses me off. So I'm going to try to be okay with not parking in my spot if there's someone else there.

I forgive the hairdressing instructor who gave the wrong instructions to the poor girl that was doing my hair yesterday. I felt awful for the girl, but it really wasn't her fault. It was the instructor who just wanted to cut a corner because she thought it would work and be faster. So I forgive her for giving the wrong instructions. My hair still turned out much better than it was originally, so all's well that ends well.